The dreaded man and the dishes!

A man had quietly walked into the house after a long day at work. He decided it was time for a nap, because he had worked since 4am and he got home after 2pm. His wife had text him a few times wondering what he had wanted for dinner. He was so tired laying in bed he replied. " ina pain walk to you later." He was so tired he could not even text right.

He knew that he only had maybe an hour or two before she arrived home. He slept away into dream land and in his dream he was on a beach surrounded by naked bikini models. He was curious of this because he had not had this dream previously.

Two hours pass.....

He slowly starts to wake as he hears her get home and he hears the kids running around the house. The dog was in his cage and the dog started to go nuts knowing someone would let him out to pee. She creeps up into the bedroom and jumps on him waking him up. He slowly opens his eyes thinking to himself "what the F@%$!" She lays down next to him so he will get up and watch the kids. Her plan is to go and workout at the gym and later pick up dinner.

Five minutes pass.....

He is up getting his daughter candy and is talking to his son. His son is cleaning his room so he can play some Wii games. He looks around puzzled because he no longer sees his wife anywhere. He looks in the kitchen and then the living room and no sign. He is like Hmmmm....He opens the bedroom door to see in shock that she is asleep in the bed.

In rage he says "What the F@#$! "Did you really wake me up so you could sleep?" She Replies "No I am just resting a minute." In his mind again he is like "WTF" so he moves on and then...

Fifteen minutes pass....

He goes back in and jumps on the bed. "WAKE UP!" He yells trying to wake her to go to the gym. He goes back out and sets the Wii up for his son to play COD Black Ops. She finally comes out and says to him "Can you do the dishes?" He pauses and looks around a minute and in his mind he wanted to say "What the F@#$ do I look like Willis!" But he refrained from the rage that would commence if he went there.

He quietly looked up and said "OK" and she moved on to getting her shoes on for the gym. He decided to be sneaky and make fun of her behind her back, while she was sitting there.

She now leaves for the gym and he looks around saying "yes" and felt a sense of freedom and then he looked over and saw the children. "sigh" He walked into the kitchen and saw the dishes..DOOM DOOM DOOM. It was the only thing he could think of in this low budget day and age with 0 special affects to save him from the dishes.

Five minutes pass.....

The dishes are now taunting him and looking at him like he is retarded. He says to himself "How do I defeat these dishes?" Simple answer would be to just clean then and throw them in the dish washer. His other thought was to fill up the bath tub and soak them and surprise the wife for when she got home, but he declined. He was a male vagina when it came to conflict.

He then decided to start doing the dishes and these were not normal dishes, they were dreaded dishes of doom. They do like normal dishes do and they taunt you and laugh at you, because they own you!

He soaked them all in the sink hearing sounds like "You little bitch!" and "Your mom likes dishes!" He became a man of rage cussing at his dishes violently and then he realized something.."Why are the kids staring at me?" He just sits and shakes his head.

His daughter asks him "Dad what is a bitch?" His only response a "very nice lady." He had it down to a science with his children. He hops them up on soda and sweets and then runs them in circles till they pass out like marathon runners finishing a race.

Ten minutes later....

The dishes were complete and the demons had been exercised and he felt accomplished.

Then the door opened and it was the wife and all he could do was look and say "What the F@#$."



THE END

DON'T SHOOT THE BLOGGER!

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER
FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK
PLUS ME ON GOOGLE+
FIND ME ON YOUTUBE AND MY YOUTUBE TECH CHANNEL 1 AND 2